Possible reactions to sexual violence
Your reaction is entirely your own. Every person expresses their emotions in their own way.
People do not necessarily display anger or panic during an episode of sexual violence, or even afterwards. For example, many people freeze when they feel they are in danger. Persons who are victims can also appear completely calm in an attempt to deal with a disturbing situation, or not realize the extent of what happened to them until much later.
When intimate parts of the body are stimulated, a person may have physiological and sensory reactions, including arousal. Children may also experience an agreeable sensation. This type of involuntary physiological reaction must absolutely not be interpreted as consent.
Some people experience consequences very rapidly after having been subjected to sexual violence, while others do not react until decades later. Your own experience—in the short or long term—will depend on many factors, such as the form of the sexual violence, the context in which it occurred, your age at the time of the event, your relationship with the person who was responsible for the violence, the reaction of those close to you, and the resources available to help you.
Being attuned to your own needs, taking care of yourself and asking for help are the first steps down the road to recovery.
Mental health
One of the particular characteristics of sexual violence is that it violates human dignity, which can have serious effects on the victim, ranging from difficult emotions to serious psychological disorders. The following are examples of consequences that have been frequently observed.
- Grief, discouragement, depression, suicidal attitudes and behaviours
- Feelings of anger and rage, frequent mood swings
- Self-mutilation
- Low self-esteem, feelings of shame, self-judgement or feeling empty inside
- Loss of memory linked to the episode of sexual violence
- Fear: fear of being alone or in crowds, fear of evocative stimuli like odours, sounds or people who look like the assailant
- Symptoms related to post-traumatic stress: constantly reliving the traumatic event during nightmares or flashbacks, avoiding situations that recall the trauma (losing touch with reality and emotions), being in a constant state of hypervigilance
- Feelings of anxiety or symptoms associated with anxiety disorders: difficulty breathing, heart palpitations, headaches or stomach aches, trouble sleeping, hot flashes or chills, excessive worry that prevents normal functioning.
Santé physique et physiologique
Depending on what was done to you, you may need immediate care or support for more long-term symptoms.
- Injury, either external or internal
- Sexually transmitted or blood-borne infections (STBBIs) that require prevention or treatment
- Unwanted pregnancy
- Generalized or specific pain (headaches or stomach aches, for example)
- Fatigue, sleep disorders or nightmares
- Eating disorders (loss of appetite, nausea, anorexia or bulimia)
- Gynecological or perinatal complications (fear that a routine examination will trigger memories of violence)
- Health risk behaviour (alcohol or drug abuse, substance addiction).
Intimacy and sexuality
For everyone—women, men or non-binary individuals—sexual violence is a violation of intimacy that can affect your relationship to sexuality and your body.
- Difficulties during sexual relations (lubrication or erectile issues, or painful intercourse)
- Fear of intimacy
- Decrease in sexual desire (libido) or, conversely, hypersexuality
- At-risk behaviours, such as unprotected sex or risky sexual hyperactivity
- Questioning one’s sexual orientation or gender identity.
Social relationships
The person who commits an act of sexual violence may be someone known to the victim or a stranger. It could be a trusted family member or a complete stranger encountered in a bar. In every case, regardless of the age of the victim, being subjected to sexual violence can have short and long-term repercussions on social relationships.
- Loss of trust in people in general or in new people you don’t know
- Difficulty differentiating between healthy and unhealthy relationships, in setting personal limits
- Fear of rejection, or need to please others at any cost
- Attachment difficulties (such as a reluctance to create emotional bonds)
- Isolation or the feeling that no one understands you
- Feeling of being rejected, or a tendency to systematically reject others.
Since your emotions and thoughts are unique and yours alone, it is completely “normal” that your reaction to an act of sexual violence be unique as well. The fact that you react differently from other people or in a way that doesn’t “fit” with preconceived ideas about how victims should behave should never be a reason to doubt yourself.
Compassionate resources are available to meet your various needs.